Wednesday, July 16, 2008

The League's Verdict on Ms. Charisee Pempengco

Agenda: Charisse Pempengco
Attendance: Complete
Time: 7:34pm
Date: July 17, 2008

Transcript of the Meeting:

Superman: Okay, so we've come to our first meeting guys.
Wonderwoman: And gals. Gals.
Superman: Yes, yes. I've come to call our verdict on this irritating tiny girl who screams when she sings. Oh, such a horrible, horrible little lady. Whatta pity.
Wonderwoman: Care to name her, Clark?
Superman: Charisse Pupu-ngco.
Batman: You mean Pempengco, Clark. Bollocks!
Superman: Yah. Seems the whole country's enamored with the B!@#$. What's up with that?
Hawkgirl: This is the Philippines, guys.
Wonderwoman: And gals!
Hawkgirl: Well, everybody's gotta shout their lungs out just to make a mark. You see, Filipinos love the screaming during the performance. I still wonder why it has to be like that. You gotta show your tonsils and maybe, enough to let the viewers even see what you had for lunch! Hehehe
Wonderwoman: You can say that to Regine V., Kendra. She's been screaming lyrics again and again guys and GALS.
Hawkgirl: Well, Regine's gotta talent most of the time. But Charisse. Oh, Charisse. Isn't that annoying?
Superman: That I agree! Ellen and Oprah guested her. Damn Americans. Filipinos must've contaminated them with their affinity with scream singing. What can you say about that Jay?
Flash: Whoa! I don't talk about showbiz guys.
Superman: Then leave this space ship! You're no good to us.
Flash: Chill out! I was just kiddin'. That girl annoys me too. I gotta run over her one of these days. i gotta do that. Gotta list that on my PDA.
Wonderwoman: She must act her age!
Hawkgirl: And stop dressing like a whorish teenybopper. Saw her once in Wowowee. The pearls, man! The pearls accessorizzzed her black leather dress. And oh, fishnets! Hahahah
Superman: Wowowee. We'll have that roasted next on our meeting! F*%$ that Willie host. Remind me about that, Diana. Care to comment too Alan? Had a bad night?
Green Lantern: Oh, sorry (yawns). Got stood up by Jean Grey last night. Thought she'd come to our date.
Wonderwoman: I told you you can't trust Xavier's kids! They've gotten conceited since the movie.
Green Lantern: Forget about that, Diana. Anyway, I move to strike our verdict.
Hawkgirl: At this early?
Green Lantern: Yeah, we might as well have it than proliferate Pempengco's breed.
Superman: Okay, so what do we do then?
Hawkgirl: Ask Oprah and Ellen to issue a public apology!
Green Lantern: Yeah, I'll make them so sorry for inviting that irritant.
Wonderwoman: Don't worry, I'll let the tiny girl drink one cup of rugby before she does a show!
Batman: How are you gonna do that?
Wonderwoman: I'm Wonderwoman, Bruce. Trust me.
Superman: Is that all, folks?
Hawkgirl: Oh, can Alan and I perfrom tonsilactomy on that poor girl too?
Green Lantern: Relax, Kendra. I can handle that.
Superman: Well, Bruce is not too excited.
Batman: I am, Clark. Don't worry. I'll give her a ride in my Batmobile.
Flash: That's a privilege, dork!
Batman: I'll send her to Joker! He can do whatever he wants.
Wonderwoman: Yeah, Bruce! I can hear some nice screaming from the girl when you do that. That's where she should shout not on the boobtube!
Superman: Well, in that case I move to close the meeting, guys.
Wonderwoman: and gals, Clark!
Superman: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Meet me tomorrow. I gotta check your reports.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Welcome Philippine TV Viewers!


Welcome to Philippine Entertainment TV (PETV). Our aim is to support the Philippine Entertainment Industry by praising Philippine TV shows and most of the time...trash-talking personalities and hopeless scriptwriters who believe they have found their niche in the business but only come up with cheap gimmicks that the masa is led to believe it's okay to suspend their disbelief, daytime or primtime.

Honestly people of Philippine TV, if not for the bills that we have to pay, we could afford to get back for ourselves our old cable subscriptions and settle (an understatement) for foreign-produced praise-worthy shows on the boobtube. But we can't. So we demand each of you to get your acts together.

It doesn't need a Nestor Torre to always grab your attention people.